Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
