You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
