I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
