You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
