I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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