at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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