I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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