I look better un-naked...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
