the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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