I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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