You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
