Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
