What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
everyone is single if you try hard enough
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize