do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There was a lot of him and a little penis
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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