The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
