I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
