You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
40s are totally the cure
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
