Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
