Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
