Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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