you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
