I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
