you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
