she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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