One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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