I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
