i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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