I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
