At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
only if we run a train.
done.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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