I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
4 words: hood of his car
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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