It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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