Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
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