never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
