Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
