When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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