I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think i have two assholes
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
