you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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