Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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