new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the day after is always just damage control
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
