So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
