you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
