my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
