I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
