Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
