Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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