i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
