Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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