Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
