Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
NoShamevember. You game?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
