maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
