I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
