Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
