I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There's always time for handjobs
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
